Kaylene
I don’t think I was aware to what extent the practices of the TLC community grew me until recently when our large family came together from different parts of the country for a celebration. When tensions arose, as they inevitably do, I found myself curious rather than defensive. When those tensions ruptured into conflict between family members, I found I could have compassion without being drawn into the fray. After decades of the usual family dynamic, I felt a surrendered presence, not to the “shoulds” that we lay on ourselves and others, but to the greater Love that holds us. I attribute this to grace and the consistent practices of the TLC community. The community fosters a deeper understanding of the Six Principles of Transformation: practice, grace, trust, vulnerability, connection, and “out.” Ultimately, Love is as abundant as gravity, with the invitation to trust in its power to transform us.
Francie
I have shared before that I feel that this group has saved my life. I mean that the deeper me has a home and a place to be heard, deeply, and seen, in the moment, that hasn’t really been possible in any other place in my life. This reminds me that grace is always with me and I am held in love no matter what happens in the world I live in now. I take tentative trusting steps to live this experience out in life.
I find I can identify when I get into story as a way to deflect deeper connection and then let the story go and listen to what arises in the moment…it’s usually letting go of my agenda and listening to the other person deeply. My compassion expands as my ego voice quiets down.
Ted
Through our work in the Transformational Listening community I have become aware of ingrained inner critic messages. There is a phrase that goes off in my head when I am stressed or ashamed or even when I am simply alone and quiet. The repeated phrase is “I wish I were dead”, exactly this phrase; clear and succinct, and it plays over and over again like a chant. I am not suicidal nor do I want to be dead and yet the recording plays over and over again. I had never questioned the recording. Perhaps, I even embraced it. This playback loop has probably been going on everyday for 45 years or more. It was very deeply ingrained. At one point after starting TLC, I actually stopped to notice when this inner critic voice started up. This time I responded. I said, “No this is not so, this is not true, this is not how I feel, I will not give you ground any longer”. It was not an argument. It was just a plain as day redirect from a lie to the truth. It was a pragmatic disarming. The engrained voice still kicks in on predictable circumstances – as a long established pattern, but it no longer repeats. It is not as frequent. The playback has waned and is fading. It holds no ground any longer. It’s a puff of smoke at best.