Over years of practice I have observed something that seems to powerfully catalyze the process of transformation: the ability to know what one is experiencing in the moment AND the ability to share that authentically.
Our ego self thrives in the past and in the future, but is very uncomfortable with simply being in the moment. Stop and think a moment. Why does it take no effort at all for us to sit and replay endlessly in our head a conversation that we had with someone yesterday in which our feelings were hurt? How hard is it for you to ponder what you will have for dinner? And yet if we try to stay in our immediate experience for even one minute we struggle mightily to stay present? I have come to the conclusion that the present moment is very dangerous for the ego. When we can stay with our immediate lived experience in the moment, without judgment, and are able to speak that experience into a circle of loving and accepting souls, ego has no foothold. The present moment is as dangerous to the ego as sunlight is to a vampire. It simply can’t exist in that space.
The present moment is the space in which transformation happens and the container in which all 6 Principles of Transformation come online.
To that end, our practices are designed for us to feel and know our immediate lived experience. Rather than telling stories about our experience (which automatically puts it in the past) we share what is happening in and for us in the moment.
What does that look like practically?
Here is an example of what I have experienced as a very valid sharing in both groups and in co-Listening:
I have been pondering my purpose here on earth. I was listening to this podcast where the person was saying that we are here to make the world a better place. And I thought, yes, of course. But, what if I can’t make it a better place? Am I a failure now? I worry about our future. I worry about our earth and our divisions. I don’t know if I can change it and then I feel afraid.
So, nothing at all wrong with that kind of sharing, but can you see how it is a sharing about an experience, rather than sharing the experience that is unfolding? Can you see where the sharing goes into the past and into the future?
Here is what we are aiming for in our groups:
I am inquiring into what my purpose here on earth is. (At this point the person slows down and begins to feel what is arising in them. What is shared here next is my actual immediate experience as I write this.)
I wonder about the word purpose. I am sensing something that feels very alive and present. That something is holding me, and I am in the flow with THAT. So that there is not really “my purpose” Iat all, but some purpose that is far beyond me. I can sense my limitation and my imperfection and it feels as though none of that matters in the hands of what is greater than me. I can feel the fear that I could ever “live up” to my purpose fall away. I feel myself surrender to love. My best guess is that Love is unfolding me for its loving purpose but if I try to name it or define it then I begin to grasp at it and make it mine rather than Love’s.
This sort of inquiry in the present moment allowed me to open to Love’s guidance and I feel that Love’s wisdom for me was able to arise from within me. There was some intellectual/mind work there, but the experience was primarily a felt sense. I am using the words “sense” and feel”. And then I say “my best guess” which indicates a mental insight which might arrive, but isn’t required in our practice. A mental insight is not the goal. The goal is to be with our experience as it arises.
